i had a dream i was a teenage girl. she was on a train, sitting next to the boy she likes.
she's over-analyzing her face. i function as her eyes and as mirror: i see her pimples,
dry skin, her little facial hair, and her flakey makeup. she complains about all of this,
but the boy she’s with offers no response but a warm smile and a gentle gaze.
she holds eye contact with him in the same manner, and then we see the scenery outside the train.
the green pastures, and rivers, and mountains bending and warping with speed.
clearly i've been worrying too much. clearly these past few days have been horrible,
not because of the material reality of my life, but because my mind has shifted -
degenerated! - my perspective, my world.
outdoor, backyard party. all the women in my family were young girls again. i was either watching or being watched - or both. the girls all were playing with balloons and rubber balls. lots of pinks and reds.
DEAR DREAMS,
you are the only thing that that matters. you are my hope and i live for and in you. you are rawness
and wildness, the colours, the scents, passion, events appearing. you are the things i live for. please take me over.
dreams cause the vision world to break loose our consciousness.
dreams by themselves aren't enough to destroy the blanket of dullness. the dreams we allow to destroy us cause us
to be visionaries/see the vision world.
every day a sharp tool, a powerful destroyer, is necessary to cut away dullness, lobotomy, buzzing, belief in human
beings, stagnancy, images, and accumulation.as soon as we stop believing
in human beings, rather know we are dogs and trees, we'll start to be happy.
once we've gotten a glimpse of the vision world (notice here how the conventional language obscures:
WE as if somebodies are the centre of activity SEE what is the
centre of activity: pure VISION. actually, the VISION creates US. is anything true?).
once we have gotten a glimpse of the vision world, we must be
careful not to think the vision world is us. we must go further and go crazier.
from
blood and guts in high school by kathy acker